Review The Power of Habit Chapter 5,6, and 7

Assalamualaikum wr.wb

Welcome to my blog!!

I would like to continue my previous review so check this bellow.

Chapter 5: STARBUCKS AND THE HABIT OF SUCCESS – When Willpower Becomes Automatic

Howard Schulz, the man who built Starbucks into a colossus, had a very poor and troubled childhood. His mother would ask him little questions like “How are you going to study tonight? What are you going to do tomorrow? How do you know you are ready for the test?” It trained him to set goals.

Schulz says that he has been lucky. He believes that if you tell people that they have what it takes to succeed, they will prove you right.

Willpower is the single most important keystone habit for individual success.

Willpower isn’t just a skill. It is a muscle and it gets tired as it works harder, so there is less power left over for other things. If you want to do something that requires willpower – like going for a run after work – you have to conserve your willpower muscle during the day. If you use it up too early on tedious tasks like writing emails or filling out boring forms, all the strength will be gone by the time you get home.

How willpower becomes a habit: By choosing a certain behavior ahead of time, and then following that routine when an inflection point arrives.

When people are asked to do something that takes self-control, if they think they are doing it for personal reasons – if they feel like it´s a choice or something they enjoy because it helps someone else – it’s much less taxing. If they feel like they have no autonomy, if they´re just following orders, their willpower muscles get tired much faster.

Chapter 6: The power of crisis – creating habits through accident and design

The organizational habits— or “routines,” as Nelson and Winter called them— are enormously important, because without them, most companies would never get any work done. Routines provide the hundreds of unwritten rules that companies need to operate. They allow workers to experiment with new ideas without having to ask for permission at every step. Routines provide the hundreds of unwritten rules that companies need to operate. They allow workers to experiment with new ideas without having to ask for permission at every step. They provide a kind of organizational memory, so that managers don’t have to reinvent the sales process every six months or panic each time a VP quits. Routines reduce uncertainty.

Among the most important benefi ts of routines is that they create truces between potentially warring groups or individuals within an organization.

Companies aren’t families. They’re battlefi elds in a civil war.

Yet despite this capacity for internecine warfare, most companies roll along relatively peacefully, year after year, because they have routines— habits— that create truces that allow everyone to set aside their rivalries long enough to get a day’s work done. Organizational habits offer a basic promise: If you follow the established patterns and abide by the truce, then rivalries won’t destroy the company, the profi ts will roll in, and, eventually, everyone will get rich.

Truces are only durable when they create real justice. If a truce I unbalanced – if the peace isn’t real – the routines often fail when they are needed the most.

Creating successful organizations isn’t just a matter of balancing authority, for an organization to work, leaders must cultivate habits that both create a real and balanced peace and, paradoxically, make it absolutely clear who´s in charge.

A company with dysfunctional habits can’t turn around simply because a leader orders it. Rather, wise executives seek out moments of crisis – or create the perception of crisis – and cultivate the sense that something must change, until everyone is finally ready to overhand the patterns they live with each day.

Chapter 7: HOW TARGET KNOWS WHAT YOU WANT BEFORE YOU DO – When Companies Predict (and Manipulate) Habits

The first things you see upon entering the grocery store are the fruits and vegetables arranged in attractive, bountiful piles. If we start our shopping sprees by loading up on healthy stuff, we´re much more likely to buy Doritos or frozen pizza when we encounter them later on.

Peoples buying habits are more likely to change when they go through a major life event. When someone gets married, for example, they are more likely to start buying a new type of coffee.

Sticky songs are what you expect to hear on radio. Your brain secretly wants that song, because it’s so familiar o everything else you’ve already heard and liked. It just sounds right.

The areas in the brain that process music are designed to seek out patterns and look for familiarity. Our brains crave familiar music because familiarity is how we manage to hear without becoming distracted by all the sound. That’s why songs that sound familiar – even if you’ve never heard them before – are sticky. Our brains are designed to prefer auditory patterns that seem similar to what we´ve already heard. When Celine Dion releases a new song and it sounds the same as her previous songs, our brains unconsciously crave its recognizability and the song becomes sticky.

We react to the cues (this sounds like all the other songs I’ve ever liked) and rewards (its fun to hum along) and without thinking, we either start singing, or reach over and change station.

If you dress a new something in old habits, it’s easier for the public to accept it.

Procedure Text

Assalamualaikum wr.wb

Welcome back to my Blog ^_^

My post in this time is dedicated to fulfilling one of the task of Media Pembelajaran Bahasa Inggris. Before we discuss about what I will post, I would like to introduce my group members first.

1. Dina Harun Al Rasyid
2. Eka Ananda Putri
3. Febryna Alawiyah Tanjung
4. Ilham Prakoso
5. Indah Sari Asih
6. including me, Kartika Febiyanti

In this post, I would like to tell you about Procedure Text.

What is Procedure Text?

Procedure text is a text that is designed to describe how something is achieved through a sequence of actions or steps. It explains how people perform different processes in a sequence of steps. This text uses the simple present tense, often imperative sentences. It also uses the temporal conjunction such as first, second, then, next, finally, etc.

Types of procedure text

1. Texts that explain how something works or how to use instruction/operation manuals. For example: how to use the CD player, the handphone, the radio, the printer, etc
2. Texts that instruct how to do a particular activity. For Example: rules for games, road safety rules, recipes, science experiments, etc.
3. Texts that deal with human behavior. For example: how to succeed, how to live happily, etc.

The generic structures of procedure text are  :

1. Goals/aim: contains the purpose of the activity or thing that will be done or made later.
2. Materials/tools: contains materials and sometimes the tools needed to make an item / do something. In procedure text, materials are optional or not always present.
3. Steps: a series of steps or tips to do.
4. Conclusion/result: contains the final results of what has been done in accordance with the steps taken.

Language Features of Procedure Text

In the Procedure Text, we use

1. Imperative: command sentences such as cut the vegetables, pour the water, etc.
2.  Simple present tense: using the first form (present) verb, such as serve, pour, place, and others.
3. Action Verbs: verbs that indicate physical activities, such as mix, put, turn, and so on.
4. Connective of sequence: conjunctions that connect one step to another, such as then, while, next, after that, and so on.
5. Numbering: numbers that indicate the sequence of activities, for example first, second, third, and others.

Generic Structure of Procedure

1. Goal: It is contains the purpose of the text. (e.g: How to make spaghetti)
2. Material or Ingredient: it is containt of the materials used in the process. (e.g: the material to cook omelet are the egg, onion, vegetable oil, etc)
3. Step: it is containt of the steps to make something in the goal. (e.g: first, wash the tomatoes, onion, ...., the second cut the onions becomes slice.

Purpose of a Procedure Text

An anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions. A particular course of action intended to achieve a result. Or To help us do a task or make something. They can be a set of instructions or directions.

Here is the example of Procedure text.

How to Create a Blog with Blogger.com

Check this bellow!!

1. You should go to blogger

2. Click on Sign In. 

It's in the upper-right corner of the window. Enter your Google username and password.

3. If you already have a Google account, please provide your e-mail address and password in the box. If not, please click Create Account first

4. Fill in the data and information used the click Next Step button, button, confirm as needed, make sure telephone number, follow the procedure until it's finished.

5. Enter a Display Name and click Continue to Blogger. The display name is the name that your readers will know you by.

6. Click on Create New Blog.



7. Type a title for your blog.



8. Type a URL for your blog.

If it's unavailable try other variations on the name you want to use, but don't use symbols like hyphens, underscores, colons.

9. Enter the words verification and click Continue.



10. Choose a starter template. This is the basic design and layout of your blog.



11. Click on Create blog!.

12. Click on Theme. It's near the bottom of the menu on the left side of the page. This allows you to customize the look of your blog beyond the elements contained in the starter template.

13. Select how to customize the design. Click on Customize if you'd like guided choices. Click on Edit HTML if you're a more advanced user.

14. Click on Settings. It's in the center of the menu on the left. From here, you can adjust other settings such as language, whether your blog will be included in search engine results, and whether you're willing to receive emails.

15. Click on Posts, comments and sharing. In this menu, you can adjust publishing, comments, and if or how your blog is shared beyond the Blogger platform.

16. Click on Basic and then +Add authors. The latter link is in the lower-right corner, under the "Permissions" section of the menu. This setting allows you to add other contributors to the blog, so that the writing burden does not rest on your shoulders, alone.

Resources
https://www.rfehosting.com/guides/wordpress-guides/seo/blog-important-tool-website
https://dailysocial.id/post/cara-membuat-blog-gratis-di-blogger-com
https://www.wikihow.tech/Start-a-Blog-on-Blogger
https://tenor.com/view/bt21-thank-you-bow-gif-11907309
https://www.jagoanbahasainggris.com/2017/04/materi-dan-soal-bahasa-inggris-procedure-text-kelas-7-smp.html

Review The Power Of Habit Chapter 3&4

Assalamualaikum wr.wb
Hope you guys have amazing day!!

In this post I would like to review chapter 3&4 from a book "The Power of Habit"

Check this below!!

Chapter 3: The golden rule of habit change – why transformation occurs

You can never truly extinguish bad habits. Rather, to change a habit, you must keep the old cue, and deliver the old reward, but insert a new routine. That’s the rule; if you use the same cue, and provide the same reward, you can shift the routine and change the habit. Almost any behavior can be transformed if the cue and reward stay the same.

Anonymous alcoholics.

AA succeeds because it helps alcoholics use the same cues, and get the same reward, but it shift the routine. The program forces people to identify the cues and rewards that encourage
their alcoholic habits, and then helps them find new behaviors. To change an old habit you must address an old craving. You have to keep the same cues and rewards as before, and feed the craving by inserting a new routine.
Often, intoxication itself doesn’t make the list. Alcoholics crave a drink because it offers escape, relaxation, companionship, the blunting of anxieties, and an opportunity for
emotional release. They might crave a cocktail to forget their worries. But they don’t necessarily crave a cocktail to forget their worries. The physical effects of alcohol are often one of the least rewarding parts of drinking to addicts.
AA forces you to create new routines for what to do each night instead of drinking. AA: s methods have been refined into therapies that can be used to disrupt almost any pattern.
Often, we don’t really understand the craving driving our behaviors until we look for them.
 If you want to change a habit, you must find an alternative route, and your odds for success go up dramatically when you commit to changing as part of a group. Belief is essential, and it grows out of a communal experience, even if that community is only as large as two people.

Part two – The habits of successful organizations

Chapter 4: Keystone Habits – which habits matter most

Keystone Habits: Some habits have the power to start a chain reaction, changing other habits as they move through an organization. Some habits, in other words, matter more than others in remaking businesses and lives. These are Keystone Habits, and they can influence how people work, eat, play, live, spend, and communicate. Keystone habits start a process that, over time, transforms everything.

Keystone habits say that success doesn’t depend on getting every single thing right, but instead relies on identifying a few key priorities and fashioning them into powerful levels. The habits that matter the most are the ones that, when they start to shift, dislodge and remake other patterns.
Families who habitually eat dinner together seem to raise children with better homework skills, higher grades, greater motional skills, and more confidence.
Detecting keystone habits means searching out certain characteristics. Keystone habits offer what is known within academic literature as “small wins”. They help other habits to flourish by creating new structures, and they establish cultures where change becomes contagious. Small wins are part of how keystone habits create widespread changes. Small wins are a steady application of a small advantage. Once a small win has been accomplished, forces are set in motion that favors another small win. Small wins fuel transformative changes by leveraging tiny advantages into patterns that convince people that bigger achievements are within reach.

Small wins: Small wins do not combine in a neat, linear, serial form, with each step being a demonstrable step closer to some predetermined goal. More common is the circumstance where small wins are scattered like miniature experiments that test implicit theories about resistance and opportunity and uncover both resources and barriers that were invisible before the situation was stirred up.

Keystone habits encourage change by creating structures that help other habits to flourish. Keystone habits transform us by creating cultures that make clear the values that, in the heat of a difficult decision or a moment of uncertainty, we might otherwise forget.

Review The Power Of Habit Chapter 1&2

Assalamualaikum wr.wb ^_^

Hello,Friend!!

Hope you guys who read this blog have amazing day!!

In this post, I would like to review chapter 1&2 from an amazing book entitled The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. Check this bellow!!

Part one – The habits of individuals

Chapter 1: The habit loop – how habits work

Habits emerge because the brain is constantly looking for ways to save effort.

The Basal Ganglia stores habits for us, and once stored we don’t need to use our rational part of the brain to execute. We just access our habits in “automated mode”, and it all goes very quickly.

The process of making a routine into a habit is called “chunking”. The brain activity spikes at the beginning of a habit, when it’s looking for a cue. And spikes again at the end, when a reward is usually present. In between spikes, the brain relinquishes control to the habit.The habit then consists of three steps:

1. Cue : a trigger telling the brain to go into automatic mode. Depending on the trigger the brain selects a specific routine
2. Routine : physical, mental or emotional behavior that follows automatically
3. Reward : positive result telling our brain if this loop is worth memorizing

Cue –routine – reward

Over time, this loop becomes more and more automatic. The cue and reward become intertwined until a powerful sense of anticipation and craving emerges. Eventually, a habit is born.

When a habit emerges, the brain stops fully participating in decision making. It stops working so hard, or diverts focus to other tasks. So unless you deliberately fight a habit – unless you find new routines – the pattern will unfold automatically.

Habits never really disappear. They are encoded into the structures of our brain.

If we learn to create new neurological routines that overpower those behaviors – if we take control of the habit loop – we can force those bad tendencies into the background. And once someone creates a new pattern, studies have demonstrated, going for a jog or ignoring the doughnuts becomes as automatic as any other habit.

Habits, as much as memory and reason, are at the root of how we behave. We might not remember the experiences that create our habits, but once they are lodged within our brains the influence how we act – often without our realization.

Chapter 2: The craving brain – how to create new habits

Craving is what makes cues and rewards work. The craving is what powers the habit loop.

1. Find a simple and obvious cue

2. Clearly define the rewards

Habits create neurological cravings. As we associate cues with certain rewards, a subconscious craving emerges in our brain that starts the habit loop spinning.

How to create a new habit: put together a cue, a routine and a reward, and then cultivate a craving that drives the loop.

A cue and a reward on their own aren’t enough for a new habit to last. Only when your brain starts expecting the reward – craving the endorphins or sense of accomplishment – will it become automatic to lace up your jogging shoes each morning. The cue, in addition to triggering a routine, must also trigger a craving for the reward to come.

Synopsis The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

Hello, friends!
Welcome back to my blog!
Hope you guys have amazing day ^_^
In this post I would like to tell you the synopsis from the book entitled “The Power of Habit".

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business is a book by Charles Duhigg. It explores the science behind habit creation and reformation and it has 371 pages. This book focus on daily habits and their role in our lives. First off, the author did an amazing job at the beginning of the book to make the case for habits. The typical Western happiness cliche is that you shouldn’t live your life on autopilot. Conscious action is good, and passive non-thinking is bad.
The problem with that perspective is that you literally cannot live that way. Your conscious brain cannot process all the information and inputs coming in. You cannot make rational choices about everything in life.
The author gave a great example of this guy who due to a brain injury lost the ability to make habitual, emotional decisions. Everything the guy did was a thoughtful, rational choice. You’d think that that would be a good thing, right? More rational behavior = better choices, right? It turns out that the guy couldn’t do anything. He was forever paralyzed with inaction. He couldn’t process all the pros and cons without the set of intuitive heuristics that we use to filter decisions everyday.
That’s where habits come in – he makes the case that almost everything in our day to day life is habit driven. A cue happens, a routine takes place, and then a reward occurs – over and over and over.
The beauty about this perspective that it frees up the executive function of your brain (ie, the conscious “you”) to tweak, edit, and fix the habits of your life to align with your beliefs, goals, and identity. In other words, stop worrying and looking to take direct action to change your life, and start looking at the cues, routines, and rewards in your life, and how you can swap the routine for something better.
That’s the basic gist of the book – but where it gets especially interesting and useful is in the direct applications, how habits change, and how habits drive organizations as much as they drive individual behavior.
He talks about how marketers are able to create new habits; how organizations are able to completely reinvent themselves by changing keystone habits; and how individuals can create the best strategies for changing daily habits (tip: only focus on 1 at a time).
Duhigg’s book focuses on the corporate success of Alcoa, Starbucks, and P&G’s Febreeze. Alcoa, in particular, was a fascinating subject. The criticism I’ve read of Duhigg’s book is valid – it is very pro routine, with very little analysis of either the ethical behavior of companies like Target’s data mining or the downside of the habit cycle. The other thing Duhigg doesn’t consider is how individuals respond differently to imeptus. Not everyone is list oriented or goal oriented. Finally, it does not help a person identify the most important thing in changing one’s habits which is identifying the cue or trigger. Nonetheless, I thought this book provided some amazing insight on how good habits or bad habits can be created, refined, and extended. 

Should Indonesia Follow The Education System in China?

Hello friends!!

Hope you guys have amazing day ^_^

In this post I would like to give you information about education in a nation in the world.

Education is a very significant thing in a nation's life. Education is a strategic media in driving the quality of human resources. This has made education the most important part of the sustainability, development and progress of a country. Everyone needs education to find out who is he/ she in the future. If we have education, of course we can be directed to a better road and have broad insight. But to develop one's quality depends on the education system. There is a proverb say "Tuntutlah ilmu sampai ke Negeri China". You must be familiar with this old proverb, right? I'm sure, almost everyone has heard of it. The question is, why do you should go to China?

The results of the PISA study (Program for International Assessment).

I would like to explain the education system in China which is one of the countries that have good education. Should Indonesia follow the system education in China?

Check this bellow ;)

China's education level is not much different from Indonesia.

The Chinese education system is divided into three years of kindergarten, six years of primary school, and three to six years of secondary education, often followed by several years of higher education. In China Kindergartens and primary schools are usually run by local education authorities or even private enterprises. But whether you decide to send your child to a state school or an international school, you should get ready for a very competitive admissions process, an ambitious education system in general, and tuition fees that might seriously impact your cost of living.

The Chinese education system has a great reputation, but it is also considered one of the most challenging and competitive ones in the world. Not every child thrives in this environment, though. Learn more about China’s school system and the opportunities it offers.

Education system in China and Indonesia

China does not do the concept of learning to memorize, rigid teaching methods that only aim to pass the exam. Rather, the system of approaches or learning systems in China emphasizes the mastery of the material, concepts, and mastery of skills for students by the way students are taught and directed to understand and experience the things they are learning. With this learning approach students can more easily digest lessons and the understanding they have gained can be fully internalized within themselves. In addition facilities and pre-school facilities in China strongly support the learning process. This learning system is very good to be applied only in Indonesia itself the ingredients are less supportive, for example in the laboratory there are many damaged microscopes, this is very disturbing the learning process in the laboratory.

In China it is very important and pay attention to the teaching profession so that later it will produce competent teachers, very different from in Indonesia, the fate of teachers in Indonesia, especially in remote areas is very sad to be ignored.

Many schools in China apply physical punishment, if a student makes a mistake the teacher has the right to punish them either hit or slapped, it is a bit scared but this is done so that students are disciplined and do not become lawbreakers. It is very different from Indonesia, if the teacher acts like that, he will be put in prison. differences can also be seen from the length of learning in school. In China

(Elementary School) = 6:30 - 15:00

(Junior high school)= 06.30 - 17.00

(Senior high school)=06:30 - 19:00 + Additional classes = 22:30 (Half past eleven)

In Indonesia

(Elementary School)= 7:00 - 12:00

(Junior high school)= 7:00 - 15:00

(Senior high school)=7:00 - 15:00

However, the implementation of education is not much different between China and Indonesia because it still applies national exams. In China to enter college, students must follow Gaokao (National Examination in China) held for 8 hours within a period of 2 days, depending on each province. The issue of state university entrance examinations in China or Gaokao is also notoriously difficult and unusual. That is why, students in the country must study extra hard, and even have been prepared since kindergarten, to pass this exam.

This education system doesn't provide many choices for students as in Europe and America. In the book "Who is afraid of the Big Bad Dragon? Why China Has the Best (System) Education System in the World? "It is said that the Chinese education system is very test-oriented, uses test scores as the main criteria in student evaluation which the author calls toxic pedagogies, inhibits creativity, suppresses curiosity and individual , and cause high stress levels. The education system with a model like this is widely applied in Asian countries such as Japan, South Korea, Singapore, India and even Indonesia.

In Indonesia, the easiest example of real cases is SBMPTN. Where students are required to work on almost all subjects on the same day, the written test results are the only criteria to consider whether the student is accepted at the University or not. Many people criticize the education system like this because as if someone's ability is only determined by their cognitive abilities through tests that are only done once in contrast to education in America and Europe where creativity, self expression, art and philosophy are upheld.

The main objectives of national examinations in China and Indonesia.

Should national examinations be held? Let's see the reality. The first thing to note is that the population in Asian countries is relatively large compared to Europe and America. With a large population, quantitative evaluations (in this case the exam) are much easier to implement and more effective and efficient in the use of time. Qualitative ability evaluations (such as essays, interviews) are quite time consuming and do not have clear limits because the assessment of each individual will have different standards.

Culture cannot be separated from contributing to this education system where in East Asia, education is something that is upheld and where education is considered the only way to elevate the dignity of the nation.

The most important factor is priority. The main priorities of countries in Asia where opportunities and limited human resources are economic growth. In order for economic growth to occur, they need to score skilled work force quickly. And an education system like this so far has successfully created skilled work force. The education system in Asia is more focused on practical economics, effectiveness and efficiency. With priorities like this and a large population, it is not yet possible for the government to provide an education system that can facilitate all kinds of passion and intelligence. Therefore the government is only able to provide an education system where output is needed in order to achieve economic growth.

Then, what about Indonesia? The curriculum model in Indonesia itself resembles a curriculum in most Asian countries, but not as extreme and as difficult as in China. And the question is, should the Indonesian education curriculum follow in China's footsteps so that our economic growth can be like China?

I don't think so. Indonesia does need a superior and quality generation but not a learning system like in China. If you apply such a learning system like China, it will only put pressure on and make students stressful. If it's like that, suicides will occur a lot among Indonesian students. In China due to heavy pressure ahead of the gaokao season (exams) caused the moment as a tragic trend of suicide among young Chinese. This is even more common in some of the leading schools in China. 

To prevent suicide that often occurs in schools that should be safe and comfortable, the school now looks like a prison.

Conclusion

What needs to be improved from Indonesian education is the infrastructure facilities that should be evenly distributed throughout the country. 

At present there is still a gap in facilities and infrastructure between schools in cities and schools throughout the country in Indonesia. I hope that this kind of gap will end soon so that all students in remote areas of Indonesia can get the same opportunities as those who go to school in the city so they get a quality generation.

For readers this time How much do you want to help Indonesia? Indonesia needs quality people to advance this country. Are you ready to study hard without being forced so that you can contribute to the nation later? Please answer each one 😊

Criticism and suggestions really helped me in improving the writing ^_^

Sources: Google

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

Hello Friends!!
Hope you guys have amazing day ^_^!!

Well, for women readers, have you ever had trouble understanding the hearts, thoughts and feelings of men? For male readers, have you ever felt confused about the mind, heart and mood that easily changes from a woman?

In my third post this time, I will a little bit review of the American author relationship counselor, John Gray's book entitled Men Are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

Once upon a time, Martians met Venusians. They fall in love and make happy relationships because they respect each other and accept their differences. Then they arrived on Earth and began suffering from amnesia. They forget that they are from different planets.

With this metaphor as an illustration of a common quarrel between men and women, John Gray explains the emergence of differences between the two sexes, which interfere with the creation of complementary love relationships. Here are some differences that occur between men and women in a relationship.

MARS & VENUS WHEN FACING PROBLEMS

Martian gets upset he never talks about what is bothering. He becomes very quiet and goes to his private cave to think about his problem , mulling it over to find a solution. When he has found a solution, he feels much better and comes out of his cave.Venus becomes upset or is stressed by her day, to find relief, she seeks out someone she trusts and then talks in great detail about the problems.

When a man is stuck in his cave women think he is powerless to gives his partner the quality attention she deserves. It is hard for her to be accepting of him at these times because she doesn’t know how stressed he is. She feels he is ignoring her. Venusian will assumes he doesn’t care about her because he isn’t talking to her. 

When women talks about problems, men usually resist. A man assumes she is talking with him about her problems because she is holding him responsible. He doesn’t realize that she is talking to feel better. A man doesn’t know that she will appreciate it if he just listens.

***For a men learn to listen without feeling blamed or responsible. She just wants to talk about her problems and that’s make her to relax.

***For a woman learn to understand that a men going to his cave wasn’t not sign that he didn’t love you. He just need to be alone and find the soultion by himself.

MARS & VENUS WHEN SPEAKING

When the Martians and Venusians first got together, they encountered many of the problems with relationships we have today. Because they recognized that they were different, they were able to solve these problems. One of the secrets of their success was good communication.

You see the Martian and Venusian languages had the same words, but the way they were used gave different meanings. Their expressions were similar, but they had different connotations or emotional emphasis.

Woman speak with dramatic language implied a particular request and men speaking rationally.

Men and women seldom mean the same things even when they use the same words. For example, when a woman says "I’m okay” that’s means that the woman was having a problem. The men mean that word is that woman just fine and have not a problem. After that women do not speak anything to him. However when a men will say something brief like "It's nothing" or "I am OK." A woman may respond "I know something's wrong. What is it?" These brief signals are generally the only way a Venusian knows to give him space to work out his feelings alone.

The conclude from me is for woman and men should changes small to the habit in communication but  without forfeiting traits of their own right.

MARS & VENUS SHARE THEIR FEELINGS

Men are like rubber bands. When they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back. A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to understand the male intimacy cycle. This cycle involves getting close, pulling away, and then getting close again.Certainly a man may pull away for the same reasons, but he will also pull away even if she has done nothing wrong. He may love and trust her; and then suddenly he begins to pull away. Like a stretched rubber band, he will distance himself and then come back all on his own.

A woman is like a wave. When she feels loved her self-esteem rises and falls in a wave motion. When she is feeling really good, she will reach a peak, but then suddenly her mood may change and her wave crashes down. If she has suppressed any negative feelings or denied herself in order to be more loving on the upswing of her wave, then on the downswing she begins to experience these negative feelings and unfulfilled needs. During this down time she especially needs to talk about problems and be heard and understood.

So this is need good communication, tell to the woman not to be worried or offended by ensuring that they will return in time. Women must resist the temptation to try to pull their partners back quickly or criticize them for their natural behavior so far.

****

One of the most difficult challenges in our loving relationships is handling differences and disagreements. Often when couples disagree their discussions can turn into arguments and then without much warning into battles. Suddenly they stop talking in a loving manner and automatically begin hurting each other: blaming, complaining, accusing, demanding, resenting, and doubting.

Criticism and suggestions really helped me in improving the writing ^_^

Source image from Google